Dead Or Alive Xtreme 3 has just released a sneak peak at their exclusive new Valentine's Day content, which consists of a literal strip of cloth. Yes, the entire costume is a ribbon wrapped around the vital areas and somehow it's still not the skimpiest outfit the series has ever released.
We've all come to expect this sort of thing from the #DeadOrAlive volleyball spin-off series, which is essentially a masterwork in designing #VideoGames that can be played with one hand, but what about other series? The ones that are mostly normal, but went just a little too far?
6 Times Fanservice Got A Bit Too... Risque
Here's my pick for five games that you'd have been happy to show to your violence-loving granny, if it hadn't been for all the jiggle physics and skimpy outfits that the developers decided to throw on top of your wholesome, old-fashioned murder.
1. 'Metal Gear Solid 5' - Quiet
When the first images of the mute sniper Quiet from #MetalGearSolid5 leaked on the internet, there was a pretty big uproar. Some people were offended at the obvious objectification of a female character, while others found the absurdly sexified outfit of what was ostensibly a military sniper hilarious. Kojima's response to people's reactions certainly didn't help matters, when he declared that people who criticized Quiet's outfit would "regret their words and deeds" upon learning the story behind it.
It turns out Kojima's weirdly ominous prediction was bunk. When people found out the story behind Quiet, they mostly just rolled their eyes even harder. The reasoning behind Quiet's skimpy outfit was a transparent excuse for some T&A and didn't even make sense. If Quiet photosynthesizes like The End does, why doesn't The End have to wear a skimpy outfit in Metal Gear Solid 3? I think we all know the answer. Because it would be too sexy for us to handle.
2. Dead Or Alive - All Of It
It's hard to pick out just one example of egregious fanservice in the fighting game series that pioneered jiggle physics. There's the fact that almost every female character has the exact same huge-breasted, long-legged body type, the beach volleyball spin-off and the teenage girl character in a fetish maid costume that's totally older than she looks guys, we swear.
Thanks to paid DLC taking off in the last few years, DOA has shot straight past the barrier of good taste and straight into fetish land. #DeadOrAlive5 now has DLC packs of cheerleader fetish wear, schoolgirl outfits and bikinis that would stay on for approximately 0.2 seconds if you tried to kick in them. Must be even harder for the players...
3. 'Street Fighter 5' - R. Mika
Street Fighter's never been great when it comes to their female character designs, but #StreetFighter5 has really gone to some silly places. Returning character R.Mika has somehow lost even more of her outfit since her last appearance and has been reduced to wearing some load-bearing strips of cloth, while newcomer Laura has built a thong into a perfectly good pair of trousers for reasons no sane and un-horny mind was meant to know.
Things came to a head shortly before release when Capcom changed up some of the intro animations for Cammy and R.Mika, altering the camera angles to remove the most egregious attempts to insert the camera directly into their crotches.
The move sparked controversy and protests from the kind of free speech activists who believe that the universal right to free speech begins and ends with things that give them boners. The rest of the world shrugged and were silently thankful that they could feel slightly less awkward playing the game with other people in the room.
4. 'Overwatch' - Breaking Mei's Butt
#Overwatch is a game of odd extremes. It's got a varied cast of female characters with a lot of diversity in both ethnicity and body-type that's garnered a big fan following even among non-gamers. Occasionally though, the mischievous horny goblin that Blizzard keeps trapped in an ancient puzzle box breaks free and attempts to ruin the good will that Blizzard's garnered.
The latest controversy comes with the Year of the Rooster Lunar New Year content, which would have been rife for some dude objectification so we could all enjoy some cock puns. Instead, Mei's new costume has slimmed her waist to the point where her ass is literally broken enough to balance a drink on. After several complaints and a few people pointing out the human body doesn't work that way, Blizzard has promised to fix Mei's whole scene and seal away their horny goblin once again.
5. 'Dragon's Crown' - The Sorceress and Amazon
Dragon's Crown was a retro beat-em-up which updated the gameplay of classic arcade titles like Dungeons And Dragons: Shadow Over Mystara with a modern flair. It was, by all accounts, an excellent little side-scrolling brawler, with complex, interesting mechanics and a great combination of RPG and action elements.
I wouldn't know though, because at the time of its release, I was living in a student apartment with three women who were all doing various social studies programs. There was absolutely no way I was going to subject myself to the mockery that would have immediately ensued when the egregiously horny and anatomically improbable character designs of the Amazon and Sorceress classes appeared in crisp, hi-def widescreen on our shared television.
Also I sort of felt like every copy of that game would arrive upsettingly sticky.
6. 'Resident Evil 5' - Sheva's Costume
Sheva was this close to being an awesome character in #ResidentEvil5. She was a smart, capable field agent with a personal vendetta against the Umbrella corporation and years of experience as a guerrilla fighter. A perfect addition to a series that was only slightly less white than the average Wes Anderson movie.
Unfortunately, someone at Capcom didn't get the memo when it came to designing her alternate costumes. Her sexy red riding hood outfit and skimpy club costumer were silly and objectifying, but not entirely out of place in a series where people wear evening dresses to espionage missions.
The real stinker though was her 'Tribal Outfit', a skimpy, racist piece of exoticized fetishwear featuring a leopard print bra and undies, inexplicable high-heels and very little else. Yeesh.
At least Resident Evil 7 is returning things to some nice, wholesome horror. Call me crazy, but I prefer my sexy outfits and mutated horrifying monstrosities to come from different sources.
Have you come across some fanservice that was just too much? Let us know in the comments!