Prior to spouting racist, bigoted, sexist vitriol to gain the support of millions of American voters, famously small-handed Donald was the star of a little show called The Apprentice where he had the audacity to offer individuals business advice and slay them on their shortcomings. If only he had someone in his life that did the same.
But one particular "episode" entitled The Novice saw Trump inviting two famous companies into his boardroom to discuss the future of console gaming. Microsoft and Sony execs visited Trump tower in an effort to impress him with their innovative ideas for an online service, and the results were... terribly acted.
Donald Trump Pretends To Know About Video Games In Awkward Episode of The Apprentice
As any great TV show in the early 2000s did, The Novice begins with the introductions. And, boy, are they ever snazzy.
Look at how impressive it makes Team Xbox out to be! Even Team PlayStation are dripping with style!
But with the introductions out of the way, it's time to get down to brass tax here. Remember, folks:
After the teams make their way into Trump Tower, they find his little board room and await the bigot's arrival. With appropriately tense music setting the scene, the man himself enters the room, hair perfectly coiffed.
Trump then launches into his highly convincing speech about the past glories of PlayStation and Xbox.
OK, you've both created world class consoles and terrific games that have thrilled millions around the world: good job. You should be very, very proud, and here's your next task. The next frontier is online games.
Ken at PlayStation is supposed to be expressing fear over the daunting task ahead, but I think he's already fed up with Trump's nonsense. In any case, you're probably wondering why Xbox and PlayStation have come to Trump Tower, right? Why do they have to impress this guy with the online service that they go away and create? Thankfully, Trump makes it very clear with an enticing reward.
"The winning team wins a contract to produce an M-M-O-R-P-G based on my colorful life. And let me tell you, there's nobody, nobody, that has a more colorful life than I do."
The way Trump utters the letters "MMORPG" is truly the defining image of a man that has no idea what he's even saying. The delivery is as poor as how he says, "good job."
In any case, the two teams go off and approach making their online service in different ways. Team Xbox engages the fans, and Team PlayStation sit around eating pizza. Can you guess who paid for the episode yet?
So, yeah, Team Xbox win cause they've got a great service and PlayStation didn't see online gaming coming. It's thrilling. Trump then informs the team that they've done a great job and that they'll start storyboarding "Trump: The RPG" that very night.
Wait a minute. I thought it was an MMO? TRUMP LIED! HE HASN'T A SOLITARY CLUE WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT!
You can watch the thrilling piece of television in its entirety below. See if you can make out who robs the taxi from Team PlayStation at the end ;)