You came, you saw, you tapped that. Anyone who's dived into the spicy world of #BioWare's Mass Effect: Andromeda will tell you that it's all about the lurve and between-sheets action. However, with fans voicing their disappointment at the lackluster options for non-hetero sexy time and, really, the lack of lust at all, there are still some opportunities on the table for love in the time of #Andromeda.
But what do your picks really say about you as a person? We've sprawled on the psychiatrist's couch and laid ourselves bare before the resident Now Loading sexpert to unearth the psychology of what each character represents in the world of hookups. And don’t worry, no spoilers here!
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- You are the first to comment on all newly uploaded #YouTube videos.
- There will never be a better franchise than Indiana Jones — although, you do deny the existence of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
- You live your life by the sentiment that "rules are made to be broken" — on the proviso that the rules are broken by someone else.
- You pour the milk before the cereal in the bowl.
- You’ve got how to cheer up a friend after they had a cruddy day down to an exact science, with a 0 percent fail rate. Indeed, when they had a minor head cold, you nearly got pulled over by the cops for speeding when zooming to their house with blankets, their favorite movies, and soup that’s kind of nasty tasting but that you absolutely swear by.
- You bought a T-shirt one size too small by accident, but you felt too awkward returning it and now you wear it, totally working the slight muffin-top look.
- You wouldn’t call yourself a model citizen, but if everybody else is saying it, then who are you to disagree?
- You’d have references on your résumé, but nearly everyone you’ve encountered calls you a nuisance or a less-flattering variation on that. You don’t mind, since you’re oddly proud of your reputation.
- You believe you can never wear too much of the same color.
- You watch Robot Wars religiously, but you know that Season 2 was its zenith.
- One time you got ID’d on a night out — and you never let your friends forget it.
Jaal Ama Darav
- You don’t have a poker face. You had never heard of this poker face before today. You’re googling it right now.
- You have definitely been late for work because you stopped for far too long to stroke a cat in the street. And needed to dab away a few tears because you had to leave and did the cat understand that you still love him? Did he understand?!
- Though you’re sensitive, you’re not at all squeamish.
- You constantly forget to reply to the group chat, but compensate by sending heartwarming headlines.
- You’ve completed every single personality quiz on BuzzFeed and have your results committed to memory.
- Relentless professionalism is the name of the game — for example, your The X-Files Tumblr fan page has a very rigorous tagging system that you never deviate from.
- You never skip the ads.
- Your dream date is going to IKEA.
- You don’t seem too sporty — until someone brings up Arsène Wenger and then you chatter exclusively in English Premier League football lingo at a dizzying speed. Yeah, "football," not "soccer."
- You use a minimum of five different emojis in each of your instant messages.
- You’re just... lovely. You’re an undefeated, shining ray of cheery optimism in even the darkest corners of our galaxy and those beyond it. If you bumped into a wall, you’d probably apologize to it. You’re amazing. Keep on keeping on.
- You try all the life hacks you encounter, including the ones that are clearly parodies, because they must have been onto something.
- You’ve set the alarms off in an art gallery. On multiple occasions. Come on, it was an accident! How were you supposed to know not to touch the exhibits?
- You love #Splatoon remixes and mashups.
- You don’t even drink caffeine; you’re just like this all the time.
- Your favorite meme is "Mmm whatcha say." You have a YouTube playlist dedicated to the best of the bunch.
- You read (and write) a lot of fan fiction.
- Black nail polish is your trademark. It says that you’re an edgy rebel, but like, in an understated way, right?
- You’re never, ever wrong about anything.
- You have no spatial awareness.
- As a child, you kept pet snails from the backyard in washed-out jam jars. You gave them names — and yes, Mom, you could tell the difference between each of them.
- You have a restless interest in everything and everyone, but you’re cute enough that it’s never construed as nosiness.
- You love cheese and wine-tasting nights.
- You’re a confident, savvy go-getter, but nine times out of 10 that unrivaled ambition backfires marvelously.
- You always win the "guess how many ___ are in the jar" contests.
- You’re good with names, and good with putting faces to the names, and know when those faces and names’ birthdays are. You don’t even use a Filofax.
- To destress, you prioritize pampering yourself from head to toe, with an enviable collection of Lush, Bath & Body Works, and Sanctuary goodies. You take inventory of said collection very seriously.
- You came to Andromeda with unwavering focus to fulfill your responsibilities as the new human Pathfinder, to create a safe home for the Ark's slumbering colonists, and for that you have my utmost respect.
What is your favorite romance in Mass Effect: Andromeda? Let us know in the comments below!