ByDylan Bonds, writer at
Lifetip: Pokérus is fatal to humans, but those sweet 2x EVs are worth it.
Dylan Bonds

Whatever your opinions on Donald Trump, there's nothing you can do about the fact that he is President of the United States of America. A welcome thought for some, a nightmare for others.

Personally, I don't think his sexist and racist views have any place in politics but at the same time, I don't think seeing the orange face of the free world full of bullet holes would help anything.

How Will Video Games Protect The President?

When I see this picture I can't help but feel that we gamers could educate on how to stay alive in a polarizing and dangerous job:

Too accurate to be coincidence.
Too accurate to be coincidence.

If Trump had played the Hitman series or simply been aware of what Agent 47 looks like by being an avid gamer, then this obvious infiltration of the Secret Service would never have happened.

But the fact that there are no reports of the President being dead yet, we can safely assume 47 is either going for the Silent Assassin achievement or has been paid more to leave Trumpalump alone.

But after avoiding such a close call, I implore the self-confessed wall-lover to take a look at these games in an attempt to be more cautious in the future.

Play 'Battlefield 1' And Learn To Avoid Snipers

So many Scout symbols...
So many Scout symbols...

Those of you who have played Battlefield 1 have more than likely felt the overwhelming presence of enemy snipers looking to pick you off as you traverse the series' notoriously big maps. It's annoying, but makes for good practice in the five Ds of dodge-bullet: Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive... and Donald.

No longer will the Secret Service have to be wary of long-distance threats during his speeches and addresses. DonDon will know to move around the stage randomly, occasionally drop to prone and avoid grouping with his teammates.

Play 'Mirror's Edge' For A Quick Urban Getaway

Oh no, enemies have disabled Trump's means of transport at a meeting with the Taiwanese president in Seattle! Good thing he remembers a few tricks he learned from Faith Connors and effortlessly leaps his way to safety over the surrounding buildings.

They won't call him the 'Urban-Roots President' for nothing.

Play 'Civilization VI' To Avoid Global Catastrophe

Hopefully only the 'darkest timeline'.
Hopefully only the 'darkest timeline'.

DonTron may become a tactician yet by honing his skills in Sid Meier's classic turn-based strategy series. Being able to trigger global destruction is pretty neat, but you know what's even neater? Being able to avoid global destruction.

"Mr President, do you know what mutually-assured destruction means? I implore you not to act like Gandhi when you play this game. You will die in real life."

- Sensible Senator (2017)

Play 'Detroit: Become Human' To Negotiate

When this game is finally released it'll serve as the perfect practice for tricky conflict resolution issues that will undoubtedly arise as POTUS. Maybe he can pull some strings and get an early copy before his decisions have mortal consequences.

The futuristic Detroit setting is apt, and although Drump won't have to negotiate with androids, he'll have to face much harder adversaries: politicians.

Only Good Can Come Of This

Either he learns some valuable lessons, or he puts pressure on video game developers to clean up their act. EA no longer charge for DLC, Valve make Half-Life 3 and Konami offer to let Kojima make Silent Hills will full control.

Video games will save you, Donald, now get The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild on release and learn some morals from Link.

See also:

What games do you think Donald Trump should play? Let me know in the comments below!


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