Okay, okay, this might not be a thing to joke about, but this is the second time an 11-year-old kid has found crystal meth inside a copy of Grand Theft Auto 5 from GameStop. Isn't that a bit convenient, considering how one of the game's main characters, Trevor, is really, really into meth? Perhaps it's actually a marketing gimmick.
In Havana, Florida, mom Kayla McAllister reported to the local police (and Facebook) that her 11-year-old son found a plastic bag containing a white substance when he was flipping through the manual of a used #GTAV purchased from GameStop this Sunday.
Fortunately, the 11-year-old was smart enough to turn the plastic bag over to his parents, who called the police. When law enforcement turned up, a field test confirmed that the substance was indeed six grams of meth, the extremely addictive and brain-frying drug known for being the go-to product of Walter White in Breaking Bad.
Someone's Sitting On Too Much Meth For His Own Good
The conspiracy theorist in me believes that this meth-placement is a marketing gimmick thought out in the sinister sales department of Rockstar Games. They are the most controversial studio in the world, after all. The other, saner and more reasonable parts of my brain are like "no god dammit, why would one of the most well-established and renowned game companies in existence do that? It doesn't make any sense."
A more likely explanation is that one or more teenagers are having a blast putting tiny bags of meth into used copies of GTA 5, or hiding them there and forgetting to reclaim them before trading in the game (presumably so that can buy more meth). These are then turned in at GameStops, where part-time jobbers in their early 20s "inspect" the games for faults. But because these guys are so absorbed by getting off work to play League of Legends, their inspections are so careless that the meth is never found.
Is Meth In Used Games Becoming A Trend?
In September, the same exact thing happened in Lake Charles, Louisiana. Another 11-year-old boy, another used game from GameStop, another bag of meth. Which has us asking:
Why would you do this? And is it the same perpetrator? We can't really know. But the lulz and media coverage would be enough reason, I guess. Especially if you somehow got your hands on a lot of meth and don't feel like committing genocide against your own brain cells.
Anyway, the mom, Kayla McAllister, has an important message for anyone who buys used games:
PLEASE CHECK ALL THE PRE OWNED GAMES YOU BUY!!! Just the thought of something happening to any of my kids because of something as crazy as this kills me. SO PLEASE PLEASE CHECK EVERYTHING!
Can't argue with that. Six grams of meth can do some serious damage to a child's body and make any grown man party a lot longer than what's healthy.
The police department in Leon County, where the GameStop store is located, is investigating the case further.