ByDylan Bonds, writer at
Lifetip: Pokérus is fatal to humans, but those sweet 2x EVs are worth it.
Dylan Bonds

I have seen many speedruns in my time, but none have come close to baffling me as much as this one. This Super Mario 64 speedrun, which clocks in at under five minutes, doesn't just abuse the game's mechanics—it slaughters them.

Yes, it's a tool-assisted run, but it's still a mind-boggling trip which rips the game open and it's great to see. From butt-slides to tail-grabbing, watch a Super Mario 64 speedrun like no other.

Mario World Massacre

[Video Credit: sonicpacker]

It doesn't take all that long to watch since it was completed in 4:21.67. But what we get in that short time are a whole load of tricks and shortcuts that proceed to make a mockery of the Nintendo 64 classic.

Flying Ass-First To Fame

I have no idea how or why this works, but it does. It's imperative that you don't question too much in this speedrun or you'll soon find yourself smoking from the ears.

One Of The Few Normal-Looking Parts

[Credit: Nintendo]
[Credit: Nintendo]

This is one of the rare moments where it looks like a normal run. In the context of the video this chunk of normalcy is sandwiched between two hefty loads of lunacy.

Back To Madness

Directly following the previous clip, we see Mario decide physics just aren't for him. He'd rather career through levels with a kind of reckless abandon that would make even stunt performers recoil.

"Physics is for losers, like Luigi" - Mario (maybe)

Making Bowser Look Like A Chump

[Credit: Nintendo]
[Credit: Nintendo]

Here we have Mario executing his signature move that we've seen so many times in the past, the 'Meet Your Mario-Maker'. Bowser stood no chance against this famous and devastating finishing move. But seriously, what is even happening here?

"What Is This 'Mercy' You Speak Of?"

[Credit: Nintendo]
[Credit: Nintendo]

An unforgiving and relentless Mario firmly puts Bowser in his place. There is no satisfaction here, only an assignment that is clinically carried out by a plumber in red. He cares not who he dispatches, only that it is done.

Are you up-to-date with Super Mario Odyssey? If you haven't caught the awesome gameplay demonstration then check it out:

Did you find this speedrun as amazing as I did? Have you seen similar runs in other games? Let me know in the comments below!

[Credit: Nintendo]


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