Until today, I did not know there was a specific #speedrun for getting married in Skyrim.
But there is.
And I'm not surprised. This is hardly the strangest Skyrim playthrough we've seen this week.
Currently, Twitch Streamer 5exual_tyrannosaurus holds the Skyrim marriage speed run record of 3:37 in-game minutes. If you include loading screens, which many speedruns do not, this comes out to only four and half minutes. This certainly makes it to our list of notable speedruns!
Probably the best bit is when our speedrunner bunny hops over the first dragon. They've got places to be and men to wed!
Actually, the whole speedrun is full of hilarious little moments to exploit the game, and it ends up being a frantic, crime-filled adventure to get hitched in a hurry. It's like Skyrim meets Vegas. Here's what 5exual manages to cram into three and half short minutes:
- Jumps over a dragon
- Sprints into the wilderness
- Steals a dead man's sword
- Runs away from bandits
- Steals a horse
- FLYS THROUGH THE DAMN AIR
- Punches a guard in the face
- Serves jail time
- Sells a magical dagger
- Dons a necklace that basically says "I'm really desperate"
- Hires a mage (Marcurio)
- Immediately proposes to that new employee
Because the clock is ticking, 5exual picks the easiest and closest bachelor in Skyrim, Marcurio of Riften. He doesn't seem to put up much resistance, and the engagement lasts only a quick 25 seconds.
Skyrim is one of those games that begs for players to create their own bizarre narratives and experiments. There's nothing quite like a huge and delightfully buggy Bethesda world to inspire players to get up to shenanigans.