ByDylan Bonds, writer at
Lifetip: Pokérus is fatal to humans, but those sweet 2x EVs are worth it.
Dylan Bonds

Have you ever tucked into a pot of noodles and been thoroughly outraged by the puny nature of your eating utensil? Did you also think "Cloud and Noctis wouldn't stand for this. They'd be eating with the utensils of kings! Ornate forks that need to be at least... three times bigger than this!"

No, me neither. But that didn't stop a huge Final Fantasy noodle fork from being made.

'Final Fantasy' Noodle Fork

[Credit: Nissin]
[Credit: Nissin]

After multiple 'cup noodle' references in the games and a wonderful Final Fantasy XV trailer full of noodles, we see the maker of 'Cup Noodle' ramen, Nissin, release a swo—I mean fork, to eat your food with.

Don't worry if you feel your ramen is lacking nerd-luster, just grab one of the fifteen Final Fantasy Boss-themed Cup Noodles and start living the dream.

'Resident Evil' Aftershave

[Credit: Capcom]
[Credit: Capcom]

An ambiguous advert shot in black and white where Chris and Wesker look smolderingly into the camera for 30 seconds while zombies hammer the window behind them. The low-fi music cuts and Barry Burton announces "T-VIRUS, by Umbrella. Get infected." in a near-whisper.

But seriously, I can't imagine why someone would want to smell like they've been infected by the t-Virus, as I can only assume it's bad. The intrigue is strong though.

If this isn't for you, you can also smell like Chris if you get the Resident Evil 4 aftershave (yes, they made another one).

'Street Fighter' Condoms

I guess Ryu and Chun-Li are consenting adults, but I'm not sure their exhibitionist display is all that enticing to fans of the series looking to practice safe sex. Then again, it's not like this is official merchandise (we hope).

It seems like we won't be seeing a super-strong baby from the two fighters any time soon.

'Mass Effect' Face-Zip Hoodie

For those times when you want to wear some video game merch but you don't want people to see your face. So, for game store robberies then. Enjoy wearing this snazzy hoodie with the comforting thought that CCTV cameras will be unable to identify this N7 armor-clad figure.

I assume you can still see out of it, but I can't really be certain.

'Mortal Kombat X' Beer

[Credit: Sound Brewery]
[Credit: Sound Brewery]

Like the others, no one will have asked for this, but the key difference is that this is actually pretty cool. The Scorpion Imperial Stout blends chili and vanilla in its flavor, which is weird but oddly enticing.

Beer connoisseurs will weep as I drink the Sub-Zero Imperial IPA at sub-zero temperatures. "For my brother!" I'll shout after I smash bottles of the Scorpion.

Maybe this is another bad idea after all...

For more questionable video game-related content, watch this video on how some games looked nothing like their trailers:

Would you buy any of the stuff on this list? Is there anything you'd add? Drop a comment below!


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