(WARNING: This article contains images and content of an adult nature. But don't worry, it's all part of the game.)
Normally when I get home from a stressful and tiresome day, I'd turn to the open worlds of GTA V or Skyrim to momentarily escape the mundanity of bills, overcrowded trains, and stupid people. I'd just run around, creating my own adventures and beating up (running away from, more like) giant spiders along the way. Maybe skillfully drive a motorbike along the railing of a bridge. Not to mention some casual violence here and there.
But there is one clean cut and cutesy video game franchise that is just as adept at invoking such sociopathic tendencies. We all know The Sims isn't singularly about getting the perfect job, mastering the guitar in five days, or feverishly hammering "motherlode" into the command bar (CTRL+SHIFT+C) and gaining a windfall of sweet dough; oh, no, no, no...
It's all about figuring out the most horrible ways of torturing and straight-up murdering your poor, pixelated pals!
A while back we scoured the web to bring you some of the most messed up Sims deaths, tortures, and situations that would scar any human, but the Internet — especially you, Reddit — in its ever-imaginative glory has crafted even more brutal ways of ruining a Sim's day.
Shall we have a look at a few?
Yes? Good answer!
The Sociopathic Sims 2: Sim Harder
Vsanna has an idea of how to handle a pedant...
"I made a guy who was a compulsive neatfreak. Put him in a really surreal little house with a wedding buffet and a hamster or something, deleted the door. Eventually he went insane from lack of cleanliness and depression over his little rodent friend dying, and starved to death once the banquet rotted.
I put the resulting urn in the room. I then repeated an identical scenario several times, always keeping the urns in the room."
"Eventually the tenth iteration of this guy is up all night, every night, terrified of a parade of ghosts of himself."
DackNeDolo has a firm P.O.A. for all you gold diggers...
"I was always too lazy to actually build my own home from scratch and so whenever I started a new file, my immediate goal was to move into the nicest house already on the map. Well I scoped it out, and a nice couple lived there. So, naturally, I:
Had an affair with the lady of the house, married her, moved into the house, knocked her up for good measure [and then] divorced her and kicked her out of the house
It was a nice house."
BrianWantsTruth has the perfect not too sadistic recipe for your very own graveyard!
"It's not too sadistic per-se, but it involved a lot of deaths.
I wanted to make a church with a full, complete graveyard. So I built a small, simple structure moved in a family of 8, get them all inside, remove the door, fill with fire. Yay, 8 new tombstones!
Repeat like 9 times, and you've got a full graveyard of tombstones. Then I built the church and moved in a priest to live there and tend to the grounds.
Unfortunately for the priest the grounds had been tainted by the dark rituals of the past and several dozen ghosts would materialize every night. Tormented by the crowds of specters, he himself died three days later due to never being able to sleep."
But wait, BrianWantsTruth has more tales of troubling torture...
"My prison filled with slave-artists was pretty grim. Everyone got a single cell, bed, toilet, sink, artist easel. There was a warden that lived above them on the ground level (all the cells are underground of course), who cooked for them, but they could only eat if they were turning out sellable art.
Most of them went insane and died."
Yes, flagurggleblarg, it does sound worse...
"Once broke up with a guy then invited him over and drowned him, just to keep his tombstone for our illegitimate child. It sounds so much worse when its put bluntly like that."
When the game interrupts your murderous spree because it's worried about you, as recounted by WentoX:
"I built a haunted house and killed like 3 families for the cemetery. The game literally gave me a pop up saying the Sims is a *life * simulation, and that I'm killing too many Sims."
Oh... wow, crafting-ur-end... wow:
"I recently found out you can kill old sims by overexertion in the sims 4. My sim is going around town fucking all the old people to death and once death shows up she proceeds to make friends with him. I'm counting up graves until my sim can bang death."
Hold up, Ravclye, you did what in/on the face of death?
"When 'Sims 3' first came out you could have a baby with the Grim Reaper. The child would have no texture so would be completely black skin, hair, and eyes. They could pass on this to their children. Other than looking a bit odd they were normal sims."
Man truly isn't a Sim's best friend, are we funmenjorities?
"In Makin' Magic I had a brilliant dog called AJ who was loved by the whole family. He never had an off day and brought sheer joy to his owners. Decided to train my wizardry and get the spell that allowed you to turn pets into humans, so AJ could be even more a part of the family.
He turned out to be the biggest fucking assbag as a person and was abusive to his family, so we had to take care of him. I built a monolithic tomb, and trapped him inside. The family stood out front playing music to him as he slowly starved.
They bought a new dog and played with it happily outside his eternal resting place to torture his trapped soul. Eventually a dragon burnt down the house and killed them all.
What a game."
Actually this is pretty funny. Hats off, PM_ME_UR_BELLYBUTON:
"Okay, so I make lots of friends with my sims, then I invite all of them over, and lead them into a room in my backyard. The room has a refrigerator, sink, toilet, and bed. Then my sim leaves and I delete the door. I have 10+ in there already and am waiting for people to come over.
I want the whole city in there. After a while the sims decide their done at your house and want to leave so the keep saying "goodbye!" while waving, but since they can't leave its a monotonous chant of them saying goodbye goodbye goodbye GOODBYE. It's hilarious."
Today's award for most sadistic goes to you, ironically named lifesnotperfect:
"I had a Sim whose house kept getting broken into.
The thing is, you can tell who the burglars are in Sims 3.
So I made my Sim attract the burglar, creating a close bond with them and finally proposing to have them move in.
As soon as they moved in, I created a basement where the burglar was kept and a door at the top of the stairs that was only accessible by my main Sim. I made my Sim become very aggressive towards the burglar. Fighting, arguing, insulting them to the point of tears. I'd always get my main Sim to make hotdogs, leave it on the kitchen counter till they rotted then force the burglar to eat them since I had control over them as well once they moved in.
Would only feed them when the hunger meter was in the absolute red, and they did not have access to windows, showers, toilet or any basic comforts like beds and chairs.
The burglar finally hit a really old age and was probably close to death, having lived half his life in the dark basement. I decided to have my main Sim throw him a birthday party. Invited his family and friends and had a cake and glorious food.
I assumed control of the burglar and let him have a shower, sleep in the bed of highest comfort and even get a really nice suit for his birthday and eat a really exquisite meal, and even visit the park. Things were really looking up for him and his happiness was through the roof. He'd finally been released from the basement hell he thought he'd rot in.
On the day of his birthday, his family and friends show up in the party room I made. There was a nice big cake, music was pumping, everyone was happy, especially the burglar. It was cold and rainy outside (seasons expansion bitch!), but what did it matter because the party room was fitted with... A fireplace. Cue animation of him turning old. Everyone claps and congratulates him.
That's when my main Sim walks out of the party room and the door to the room disappears.
Then there's suddenly a carpet near the fireplace. Some people need to leave to pee, but there's no door. More and more fireplaces suddenly appear, each with their own carpet. I build a mezzanine and get the burglar Sim to go upstairs where he has a view of all his family and friends below. Delete the stairs so he has no way to get down. Then, it happens. A fireplace finally lights up the carpet and the room is now quickly catching on fire, filling with smoke, the sound of the burglars family and friends screaming, suffering, dying. He goes into a frenzied panic as death shows up and takes his loved ones away. The stairs reappear and he goes downstairs, only to suffer the same fate as everyone else he'd known.
Don't fuck with my Sim.
I will end you in the most horrid of ways."
Well wasn't that... eye-opening? Right, I'm off to build a house, fill it with happy-go-lucky Sims, and burn that mother to the ground. Maybe cavort a bit with the Grim Reaper, too.