Blizzard's digital trading card game Hearthstone has just rolled out its latest expansion, Whispers of the Old Gods. Along with 134 new cards, new rules to keep the game fresh, and new deck building tools comes the game studio's trademark humor. To balance the ancient evil that is being unleashed on PCs, phones, and tablets across the world is hilarious flavor text on each card that often goes unnoticed. Check out our favorite lines that the game developers have snuck into the new expansion.
Hearthstone's 'Whispers of the Old Gods' song-related flavor text
Addled Grizzly: Druids who spend too long in bear form are more susceptible to the whispers of the Old Gods. Right now they are whispering the lyrics to "La Bamba".
Yes, that would drive one to insanity. But it's not just the minions that are haunted by catchy toons. The ancient ones themselves have been slumbering for eons with certain melodies running through their brains on a loop.
N'Zoth, The Corrupter: Has not been able to get "Under the Sea" out of his head for like FIVE THOUSAND YEARS.
You'd think it would be "Poor Unfortunate Souls" for a being of ancient evil, but "Under the Sea" is catchy, too.
Carrion Grub: Carrion, my wayward grub.
This one is an ode to the lyric "Carry on, my wayward son" from song of the same name by Kansas. Ask your dad.
Evolve: So you say you want an evolution. Well, you know, We all want to change the board.
Not to be outdone by a mere carrion grub, the Evolve comes back strong with an homage to the Beatles' song "Revolution."
Hearthstone's 'Whispers of the Old Gods' phone call flavor text
Call of the Wild: "Hello, MIsha, Leokk and Huffer aren't here right now, but if you leave a message we'll get back to you right away." BEEP.
I guess sometimes the Call of the Wild goes straight to voice mail, huh? Poor Hunter. But there's a reason for not picking up all the time and that reason is the incessant dialing of the Doomcaller.
Doomcaller: "Hello, is Doom there? No? Can I leave a message?"
I guess Doom does it old school with a messaging service though it must be hard to fit his name on the message each and every time.
DOOM!: We ran out of space for "DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!"
Hearthstone's Whispers of the Old Gods World of Warcraft flavor text
Cho'Gall: Even after all this time, Gul'dan still makes Cho'gall g o get donuts and coffee.
Poor Cho'gall. The two-headed ogre mage gets no respects, especially from the orc warlock supreme, Gul'dan. At least there's tasty donuts to be had.
Divine Strength: Every year a few paladins get disqualified from the Westfall weight lifting championship for using Divine Strength.
Westfall is a farming community in Azeroth near the human stronghold of Stormwind.
Evolved Kobold: You no take tentacle!
Every player in World of Warcraft that started a human character ran into a kobold in the mines of the Elwynn Forest that shouted "You no take candle!" before attacking. Apparently, they have been given an...upgrade.
Fandral Staghelm: Always manages to mention "Back when I was creating the World Tree..." in EVERY conversation. Sheesh! Enough already.
Yet no one wants to point out that he didn't get nature's blessing for the planting of the World Tree and it became corrupted by the Emerald Nightmare. I suppose saying that would be a party foul. Or something.
'Whispers of the Old Gods' Hearthstone flavor text
C'Thun: C'Thun's least favorite Hearthstone card: Eye for an Eye.
An Eye for an Eye is a Paladin Secret card the delivers any damage to the opponent that is inflicted on the Paladin. C'Thun would not be amused.
Ancient Harbinger: "honey, can u run down to the store and pick up some 10 cost minions? thx"
Not sure why this is written in the style of a spouse being texted for an errand, but a little humor goes a long way when the 10-Cost minion being summoned is likely an Old God of ancient and unfathomable evil.
Psych-o-tron: "Annoyinger-o-Tron" was just too unwieldy. And accurate.
The Annoy-o-tron minion was a neutral card with Taunt and Divine Shield that was used in many decks. It has now been phased out of Standard play, but replaced by an even more annoying version.
Spawn of N'zoth: Who's a cute widdle N'zoth? You are! Yes you are! You're the cutest widdle N'Zoth in the whole world!!!
Who would have thought that ancient evil could be so adorable?
Twisted Worgen: Sometimes the Old Gods' corruption gives you power untold, sometimes you get +1 Attack. We can't all be winners in the Eldritch lottery.
Hearthstone's 'Whispers of the Old Gods' pop culture flavor text
Disciple of C'Thun: C'Thun's recruitment pitch involves cookies, which is why it's the most popular Old God.
A reference to the long running meme "Join the Dark Side. We have cookies."
On the Hunt: The mastiff giggles if you don't hit any of the ducks.
A reference to the 80s arcade game Duck Hunt that had a dog appear on screen and giggle at you when you missed all your shots and the ducks that flew by.
Vilefin Inquisitor: Nobody expects the Vilefin Inquisition!
A reference to the famous Monty Python Spanish Inquisition skit.
Hearthstone's 'Whispers of the Old Gods' the best of the rest flavor text
Mark of Y'Shaarj: Y'saarj had three sons: Mark, Theodore, and Chris.
Stormcrack: WARNING: DO NOT TOUCH THE PURPLE BALL OF LIGHTNING
The Boogeymonster: Has 20 years of training in classical ballet, but ALLLLLL he ever gets asked to do is boogie.
Twilight Elder: Just doesn't understand those Twilight Youngsters any more - with their comic books and their rock music.