Posted by Tim Horton @Timhortongame
Senior Writer at Now Loading. I play from within a couch pillow fort. Twitter: @TimHortonGame | Email: [email protected]
Tim Horton

Life would be ever so droll without a bit of speculation here and there. People love to consider alternatives to any scenario – it’s human nature. But some of the most interesting dollops of theoretical speculation come when we look at our favourite fantasy stories. It is something we all do – but some are considerably wackier than others.

Fortunately for us we now have the internet to share such thoughts. Some of these theories range from the slightly humorous to the utterly bizarre. Ah, where would we be without fan theories?

I have spooled through a fair few crazy fan theories and have found a few that actually, or should I say weirdly, make sense. So much so that even I am now doubting what I thought to be true.

That being the case I thought I would collect six of the most compelling fan theories out there and lay them out for you to take a look at. Here are six fan theories that will totally change the way you think about your favourite games.

6. Bloodborne players were actually taking menstrual blood the whole time

Straight in there with an utterly kooky theory that puts forward the notion that all the blood injected in Bloodborne is actually menstrual blood. Life in Yharnam is a little crazy and if werewolves and murderous Quakers weren’t enough to be concerned with then the fact that medicine has been replaced with vials of blood would certainly get my alarm bells ringing.

This theory comes about due to the fact that the player is only able to take blood from fertile female characters, specifically Arianna. Arianna provides the player with as much blood as is needed up until the point she becomes pregnant. Also, players are unable to get blood from older female characters – ones who are post-menopause – this example is highlighted by the older lady you encounter at Cathederal Ward – she offers out nothing.

Add all this to the fact that many areas, enemies and characters carry the word Mensis within them. Mensis is one letter away from Mensas which is the Latin word for menstruation.

Could this be true? Try playing it at different times of the month and get back to me.

5. Kirby actually visits a post apocalyptic earth

Everything about Nintendo’s fuzzy ball of fun is to die for – but for all of us to die for? Maybe not. This new emerging fan theory that puts Kirby amongst a post apocalyptic earth is far too compelling to be anything else.

Think back to Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards, where Kirby toddles through a level called Shiver Star. All seems normal and many of us never gave it a second thought until someone stopped and looked a little closer.

Looking at it all again it bear a striking resemblance to Earth, even coming complete with a friendly orbiting moon. Shiver Star is covered in ice so maybe this is a planet early in its development and still currently in its ice age.

No, one of the segments in Shiver Star sees Kirby enter into a factory that many consider to be manmade. Although no humans are to be found anywhere within it, it defiantly wreaks of human input.

And don’t forget the Shopping mall – I am pretty sure that aliens don’t have malls like that. The only things that remain on the planet are lifeless robot drones that patrol the now lifeless planet. Giving to the notion that Shiver Star is a world that long ago broke free from the shackles of human oppression.

Slightly depressing but a valid theory.

4. Super Smash Bro – the master hand is actually the good guy

This is one of the most popular fan theories out there but it does hold a little water. If you recall at the very beginning of the Super Smash Bros series we see all the characters represented as cute and cuddly stuffed toys. This is considered to be their true form and master hand is the owner of these toys.

In the game there is a moment at the end when the hand reveals itself to be the final boss and it is up to you to tear it finger from thumb. The theory is however that if we were to just accept our fate and allow ourselves to be taken by the hand who is if you remember our owner then we would have been returned to our original form.

But we decide to fire ball that glove into oblivion. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you!

3. Donkey Kong murdered Mario and Luigi’s dad

So, to get this theory up and running we first need to establish the fact that Jumpman in Donkey Kong isn’t just an early version of Mario but he is actually Mario and Luigi’s father. Makes sense – he is called Jumpman for one and let’s face it he kinda looks a lot like Mario.

Now that’s sorted think back to Donkey Kong. At the end of Donkey Kong, Jumpman - after rescuing Pauline - imprisons our favourite ape in a big cage thus seeing out the game. This allows for Donkey Kong Jr to come along.

Now if you recall, at the end of Donkey Kong Jr once you finally manage to rescue your kongian father, Jumpman falls to the ground and a halo is seen to form around his head denoting that he is now dead.

Did he fall or was he pushed? Murder or manslaughter you decide.

2. Silent Hill 2 – Mary was in the trunk the whole time

If Silent Hill 2 wasn’t freaky enough what with Pyramid Head, mannequin rape and other monstrous horrors lying in wait around every corner then the notion that James was actually the murderer is more than a little perturbing.

Theorist believe that James, our protagonist murdered his wife and loaded her into the trunk of his car and that the trip to Silent Hill is merely a representation portrayed via his psychotic personality. He in effect carried out her last wish of going to Silent Hill but again via the delusions of his perverted murderous mind.

Theorist also claim that this is further instilled by one of the endings that occurs in the game. There are many endings available but one allows for James to commit suicide by driving his car into a lake. He goes onto to say that he and his wife can now be together forever. This is not meant to taken in a spiritual sense but in the literal sense he wanted to die with his wife, in the car.

Any thoughts on this one? Is James a murderous psycho-killer or are we the deluded ones?

1. The Companion Cubes in Portal have people in them

This one is heart breaking not just because I am remembering having to incinerate the Companion Cube but because there is a theory that pertains to the fact that there are actually people inside the cubes.

The theory is supported by those who spotted that Ratman had placed pictures of companion cubes over photographs of former colleagues. This quite clearly suggests that inside each of those cubes was said colleague. But were they alive or were they dead?

The answer – alive! This is confirmed when antagonist GlaDOS warns us not to listen if the companion cube ever spoke to us. We burnt them – we didn’t listen – it was right there in front of our eyes and we burnt them!

Some truly chilling revelations there. There are so many theories out there and just so little time to be able to sit down and document them all that I now invite you to add any and all kooky theories you may have. Astound me, if you dare.