We all know the saying; sex sells. More and more this reigns true as video game character's boobs gets bigger and "armour" gets smaller. Unfortunately though, men don't get subjected to the same pressures. You rarely see a penis on T.V (Apart from the one I saw on GOT last night! Squeee!) and men are rarely overtly sexualized. I don't let this stop me though, and would consider myself an oogling expert when it comes to the male form. So amongst all the male game characters out there, I have accumulated for you, this list of the Top 10 sexiest.
10. Guybrush Threepwood - Monkey Island Series
This was my first video game crush. I was all over Guybrush and I blame him for my adulthood obsession with pirates (I just want a grog swilling, hook-handed man who wears eyeliner ok??).The best Guybrush for sure was Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Guybrush, with his sexy coat and beard. I just want to sit on his face.
In all seriousness though. Guybrush is a catch. He's an adventurer, he's witty and he is so so funny. It's not a lie when women rate sense of humour as one of the most important traits a man could have. A good joke is one of the best panty-droppers out there.
9. Delsin Rowe - inFamous: Second Son
At the beginning of the game, Delsin is a but of a bad boy. Depending on how you play, he can become the hero, or villain you always dreamed of. Right from the start he is a bit of a bad ass, and I love it. When it comes to fictional characters, I have a penchant for villains (Joffery was my favourite GOT character) so it didn't surprise anyone when I lead Delsin astray down the path of evil.
So you have a sexy-as-hell Native American babe with powers. He can pick you and and speed travel you across town. Fly you up the sides of buildings, and use smoke to burn your clothes of so he can ravage you... What's not to love?
8.Nathan Drake - Uncharted Series
Now I am going to be honest. I haven't played Uncharted. Well, I played the first game for maybe an hour and then got bored and put it into my big stack of games that haven't been touched in years. With all the Hype around the Uncharted 4 however, I haven't been able to escape the Drake fever. Everywhere I look there's photos and gifs of this guy. And he's a stone cold fox. I keep finding myself trolling the pits of Tumblr just to stare at his gorgeous face.
I don't know much about Drake, apart from that he likes to hunt treasure. I could add in a lot of totally inappropriate treasure hunting innuendo in here, but I will refrain. Instead I am going to scroll back up and gaze at that bloodied, dirty bod up above. *swoon*
7.Norman Jayden - Heavy Rain
I love intelligent men, and Norman Jayden is one smart cookie. There are lots of reasons he is on my list. Firstly, he has my dream job - A FBI profiler, and secondly he looks amazing in a suit. While playing Heavy Rain, he was by far my favourite character. I was so devastated when I accidentally killed him in my first play-though that I immediately replayed the game.
It's his passion which is his sexiest trait though. He is so dedicated to his job and finding Shaun that he puts his own personal life, career and health at risk. He is also a bit of a weird, socially awkward and standoffish. I just want to take him under my wing and smoother him with love, kindness and boobs.
6. Lee Everett - Telltale's The Walking Dead
Lee is another character on this list with a dodgy past. We won't hold that against him though, as throughout the game he proves to be the hero every girl is secretly hoping will come for her. He's a straight up guy who doesn't take any shit and speaks his mind, and he looks bangin' doing it.
While Lee looks mighty fine all the time, it is when he starts zombie-slashing that makes me tingle inside. Who doesn't like to see a man decapitating rotting human corpses while covered in blood or guts? For others though, it's the fatherly affection he shows towards Clementine that is get many girls ovaries aching.
5. Jay - Beyond Two Souls
My crush on Jay makes the saying "treat 'em mean keep 'em keen" make a whole lot of sense. When we first meet his character he was cold as ice. That cool demeanour did nothing to deter me though. In fact, the meaner he was to Jodie, the more I decided he was the love of my life and that I needed to find a way to jump into the screen and lick his entire body from head to toe.
As the game progresses, you get to see Jay's kind side. He's the kinda man that works with his hands all day but also has deep rooted values, and a huge respect for his family. The best of both worlds! Along with that he really is the epitome of tall, dark and handsome.
4. John Marston - Red Dead Redemption
If I can't have a pirate, then my next choice is a cowboy. John Marston is the sexiest cowboy I have ever seen. Just thinking about all the things I like about him is making my hands clammy. Firstly, he is an actual bad guy. His chequered past is full of gunslinging, robbing and killing as an outlaw. Secondly, he is one chivalrous bastard. He treats women in the game with the utmost respect (for that time).
Marston is ruggered as f***. He kills and skins bears with a knife. His hair is unkempt and he has the perfect beard to nuzzle in between my thighs. You just can't go wrong with a rough looking cowboy.
3. Asher Forrester - Game of Thrones - A Telltale Game Series
The rouge of the Forrester brothers, Asher is also the sexiest. The bad boy of the family, Asher is living in exile after years of rebellious behaviour (fighting, drinking and bedding whores). He's definitely a smart ass, and his wry smile is enough to send my pants flying across the room.
I mean just look at him! Chiselled features, playful eyes and a smirk to die for! Not to mention those buff arms that I want to wrap around every inch of my body. With a game packed with Asher outwitting bad guys and out-fighting the strongest of men he's the action hero of fantasies.
2. Geralt - The Witcher series
I'm starting to get into panty-soaking territory here because my lord do I have the biggest crush on Geralt. He is sensational. Firstly, I could listen to him talk all day. His voice sends quivers down my spine. Secondly he a mans-man; all unshaven and buff with his massive swords and scarred up body.
While he is undoubtedly quite a charming character, this entry on the list is purely physical. Raw animal attraction. With graphics looking more and more realistic each day, I don't even feel bad about how incredibly turned on I am by this series of well placed pixels.
1. Vito Scaletta - Mafia II
So I have mentioned pirates and cowboys, and now it is time to delve into the world of my teenage fantasies - the Mafia. With The Godfather being my favourite book and movie of all time, I have always had a strange adoration for Mafioso's. So that's the first thing Vito has going for him - he is in the Mafia. Which means he definitely has the much desired bad boy thing going on.
The best part about Vito though is his very Sicilian look. He's hands down one of the best looking guys I have ever seen. His dark hair, smouldering eyes and extremely chiselled jawline are the winning combination to my heart. And boy does he look slick when he's in his finest suit mowing guys down with a Tommy gun. Total heart throb. He has even aged well. A snippet from the upcoming Mafia III shows he has turned into a down right silver fox. Meow.
So there you have it, my top 10 hottest game characters. Who have I left off the list that tickles your fancy?