Why do we do it? We all do it. The senseless, needless expenditure on gaming accoutrement. As the years have ticked on by, the gaming industry sure has gone through some major transformations. From the humble Atari to the mighty PlayStation there is no denying that the quality of our gaming products has increased dramatically.
More gaming trivia?
What hasn’t changed however, is the amount custom accessories that we are bombarded with. With every new console and game release their are literally hundreds of new controllers, bundles and accessories to ship alongside. Some are ok, but most are just plain awful.
The problem is though, no matter how awful some of these accessories are, we still go out and buy them, especially in the early days. I remember owning the Mad Catz racing wheel with ‘working shift’ as well as the custom NES controller 'speed board'. Looking back now, they were utter sh** and didn’t really work, at all, as advertised, but I had to have them.
They were as brilliant as they were useless and, if you are anything like me and my colleagues, here at Now Loading, the following list of ‘useless’ gaming accessories will rock your nostalgia to the core. Sit back, shake your head and laugh as we go through some of the worst gaming accessories ever made, that we all bought anyway.
11. The Wii Car Adapter
This one truly is as stupid as it is inconceivable. Not only are you expected to play a movement based system whilst physically restrained by a seat belt, but you also have the play through the motions of said games whist being situated in the car, three inches away from the passenger next to you (three feet is recommended by manufacturer).
10. AlphaGrip AG-5 PC controller
This was intended for those business focused individuals that had a penchant for gaming. This monstrous unit was designed to allow the user to seamlessly transition between emails and texts to their favorite video games. The reality of this however, was not quite as seamless as suggested above.
It was huge, heavy and although it may look ergonomically well designed, it wasn’t. You might as well have put buttons on the coffee table and taken that around with you. This device had 42 different button and required the user to use all 10 fingers.
One thing is for sure, if you were somehow able to master the AlphaGrip AG-5 PC then you would almost certainly be the best lover on the planet.
9. The Power Glove from Nintendo 1989
Despite being the coolest thing ever designed by Nintendo, the Power glove just didn't work all that well. And looking back, I don't really care, as a kid, wearing this mighty accessory, I felt like I could take on the world.
Gaming wise, the sensors were pretty rubbish and I never defeated any bosses with it on, but it was more about how it made me feel. Great piece of terrible kit.
8. Skywriter Stick Station (1984)
Why? There is no logic to this wooden... thing.This utterly useless accessory turned the handheld joystick of the Atari into a non handheld one.
7. Atari Mindlink (1984)
The headband created by Atari that was supposed to be able to read your mind. It didn’t work, at all.
The system was designed in an effort to allow players to control games with their thoughts, but, despite their best efforts, the accessory never made it into production. Apparently test subjects would experience terrible headaches and dizziness as they had to try and manipulate the infrared sensors attached to their foreheads.
6. R.O.B. (Robotic Operating Buddy)
This awesome 'Johnny 5' look alike came from Nintendo and, like the others listed above, didn’t really do anything. He could communicate with the NES in a way that we were able to move his arms but that was it really. It was more of of PR stunt, but we all bought one!
5. ASG Video Jukebox (1994)
The ASG Jukebox caters to the laziest of Genesis gamers. This simple but actually effective device meant that players could change the game on their Genesis without having to move. Just select the desired game and press the corresponding button.
Not too shabby but rather unnecessary really.
4. Champion Video Game Gloves (1992)
No true gamer could get away without owning a pair of genuine Champion Video Game Gloves. Yea, for the true OG comes the operational clothing line.
These gloves would help prevent any gaming related ailment from blistering to cramping, with added padding and badass aesthetics this was the ultimate accessory for the true gamer.
3. Nintendo 64 Controller Glove (1999)
Because shit happens when you drop your N64 controller. This solved a problem that barely any of us had - the controller flying out of your hands because of excess sweat.
This foam surround fitted over the top of your N64 controller and would absorb the sweat (mmm) and allow the player to play in with added confidence that the controller was not going to slip out of their hands.
2. Nyko Hip Clip (2000)
The ultimate nerd accessory. This clip allowed you to carry your Gameboy on your hip. This accessory was guaranteed to help you score dates when out on the town.
1. Wii Sport Accessories... In General
Just no, the introduction of such accessories as the bow, the fishing reel, the tennis racket and the baseball bat should not be greeted with excitement. Ok, they were fun to start off with until the illusion is smashed by your lazy friends who score higher points than you using the standard remote, whilst playing from a reclined position on the couch.